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Men are like.....

Laxatives. They irritate the shit out of you.

Bananas. The older they get, the less firm they are.

Vacations. They never seem to be long enough.

Bank Machines. Once they withdraw they lose interest.

Weather. Nothing can be done to change them.

Blenders. You need one, but you're not quite sure why.

Cement. After getting laid, they take a long time to get hard.

Chocolate Bars. Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.

Coffee. The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.

Commercials. You can't believe a word they say.

Department Stores. Their clothes are always half off.

Government bonds. They take so long to mature.

Horoscopes. They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.

Mascara. They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

Popcorn. They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

Snowstorms. You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.

Parking Stalls. All the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped.

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