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Dogs don't cry

Dogs love it when your friends come over

Dogs don't care if you use their shampoo

Dogs think you sing great

A dogs time in the bathroom is limited to a quick drink

Dogs don't expect you to call when you're running late

The later you are the more excited dogs are to see you

Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs

Dogs understand that farts are funny

Anyone can get a good looking dog

If a dog is gorgeous other dogs don't hate it

Dogs don't shop

Dogs like it when you leave things on the floor

A dogs disposition stays the same all month long

Dogs never need to examine the relationship

A dogs mother never comes to visit

Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions

When a dog gets old and snaps at you incessantly, you can shoot it

Dogs like beer

Dogs understand you have to raise your voice to get your point across

Dogs never expect gifts

Dogs don't hate their body

Dogs don't want to know about every other dog you've had

Dogs never want foot rubs

Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk

Dogs never use your razor

Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives

Dogs seldom outlive you

Dogs don't notice when you call them by another dog's name

Dogs like to do their snooping outside rather than in your wallet or desk

Dogs are ready to go 24 hours a day, you never have to wait

Dogs like to go hunting and fishing

Another man will seldom steal your dog

Dogs will not wake you up at night and ask "If I die, will you get another dog?"

If you dog has babies you can put an ad in the paper and give them away

Dogs are not allowed in Neiman-Marcus or Bloomingdale's

Dogs can't talk

If your dog leaves, he won't take half your stuff with him

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