Arabs hate Jews. I don’t mean frown upon, begruge or merely dislike. I
mean HATE!!! Why? How
did that happen? I think I figured it out. Me. An old
Irish Catholic boy who has few Jewish friends and no Arab friends and
knows
nothing about either. Who did what to whom and when was it done so long
ago that Darwin has evolved the hatred into their genes?
It all started once upon a time, a long time ago, in a land far, far
away. Moses went to Pharaoh and said “Let my people go.” Pharaoh said
“Say what? Why should I?” Moses said “Let my people go.” Pharaoh said
“Who’s going to sow and reap my fields? Who’s going to polish my palace
floors? Who’s going to run my air-conditioner? (In those days
air-conditioning was operated by Jews waving huge feather dusters)
Who’s going to build my pyramids?”
At this moment, mankind’s largest ever mistake was made. Moses said “If
you don’t let my people go, I will put plagues upon you.”
Now, Moses was a formidable appearing man (see above) with his glorious
robe, long,
thick, flowing hair that always looked like he had a fan blowing in his
face, chiseled features and a square jaw that looked remarkably similar
to Charlton Heston and a magnificent staff in his hand. Pharaoh, too,
looked very smart with his brightly colored 800 count Egyptian Cotton
ensemble complete with gold trim and crown. Pharaoh was Pharaoh. He’s
The Man.
And you don’t threaten The Man. Pharaoh’s heart was hardened and he
said “No.”
Moses was a kick-ass sort of guy so he cast his staff upon the ground.
With a little help from Someone, the staff turned into a big snake
which hissed at Pharaoh. The audience gasped. Women swooned. Pharaoh
was delighted. He grabbed a big stick and threw it on the ground in
front of Moses and it too turned into a snake. But a funny thing
happened, Moses’s snake gobbled up Pharaoh’s snake and that really
ticked off Pharaoh. He had worked for over a year with his alchemist,
Vinny Viagra, learning this snake parlor trick and he was humbled by a
raggedly Jewish slave.
Pharaoh drew a line in the Sahara and said “Bring on the plagues.”
Moses did. And he kicked Pharaoh’s ass. Pharaoh folded. And
the Jews have been
doing it ever since. This paltry tribe of Jews, who required 40 years
to find their way out of a desert, have been kicking Arab ass for 5,000
years. No wonder Arabs hate Jews.
Instead of making macho threats about plagues, Moses could have said,
“OK Pharaoh, you’re tough. Let’s negotiate. We Jews are not really
large, strong people and we’re not designed to build pyramids with big
heavy rocks. Soaking wet we maybe go 130 - 140 pounds. We’re more
suitable working as doctors and lawyers or running a cash register. You
would be a lot better off if you went to Rome and picked up some of
those gladiator guys. They are big and strong from eating pasta and
drinking chianti and man you should see them drive chariots. If you
want to save some money on freight, you can go a couple hundred miles
south to Sudan, Ethiopia or Kenya and pick up some of those huge black
guys who are just sitting around waiting for someone to invent the NFL
and the NBA. They could take big rocks and build palaces and pyramids
in no time.”
Well, it didn’t happen that way and macho Moses set off a chain of
events that has endured for 5,000 years.
So when you look at the middle-east and say “Who done it?”
