Mae West

It's not the men in my life; it's the life in my men.

Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly.

I only like two kinds of men: domestic and foreign.

Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you.

I've been in more laps than a napkin.

I wrote this story myself. It's all about a girl who lost her reputation, but never missed it.

I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.

He who hesitates is a damned fool.

She's the kind of girl who climbed the ladder of success wrong by wrong.

Whenever I'm caught between two evils, I take the one I've never tried.

I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.

Too much of a good thing is wonderful.

How tall are you? "Six feet seven inches." Well, let's forget about the six feet and talk about the seven inches.

Good sex is like good Bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

Once, during a trial in which she was accused of indecency on stage, the judge asked, "Miss West, are you trying to show contempt for this court?" She answered, "On the contrary, your Honor, I was doing my best to conceal it."

I've been rich and I've been poor. Believe me, rich is better.

I always say, keep a diary, and some day it'll keep you.

It ain't no sin if you crack a few laws now and then. As long as you don't break any.

It's better to be looked over than overlooked.

Maid (unpacking): Goodness, what nice jewelry. Mae West replied: "Goodness" had nothing to do with it, dearie.

When I'm good, I'm very good, but when I'm bad...I'm better.

Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

No gold-digging for me....I take diamonds!  We may be off the gold standard someday.

I'm no angel, but I've spread my wings a bit.

I'm a woman of very few words, but lots of action.

Too many girls follow the line of least resistance....but a good line is hard to resist.

Every man I meet wants to protect me.....I can't figure out what from.

I see you're a man with ideals.....I better be going while you've still got them.

Any time you've got nothing to do.....and lots of time to do it.....come on up.

Men are all alike.....except the one you've met who's different.

All discarded lovers should be given a second chance.....but with someone else.

The score never interested me, only the game.

Men are my hobby, if I ever got married I'd have to give it up.

I'm no model lady.  A model's just an imitation of the real thing.

I never worry about diets.  The only carrots that interest me are the number of carats in a diamond.

There are no withholding taxes on the wages of sin.

The curve is more powerful than the sword.

I didn't discover curves; I only uncovered them.

Some women pick men to marry--and others pick them to pieces.

When a girl goes bad--men go right after her.

Good women are no fun... The only good woman I can recall in history was Betsy Ross. And all she ever made was a flag.

A woman in love can't be reasonable--or she probably wouldn't be in love.

You can do what you want, but saving love doesn't bring any interest.

Love isn't an emotion or an instinct--it's an art.

Love is the only industry which can't operate on a five-day week.

Women want certain things in marriage--the right to a title and a front seat in the lap of luxury.

Men are easy to get but hard to keep.

It's easy to get married, but hard to stay that way.

The best way to hold a man is in your arms.

Brains are an asset to the woman in love who's smart enough to hide 'em.

Look your best--who said love is blind?

An ounce of performance is worth pounds of promises.

Girls, give all your gentlemen friends an even break, even if you have to break them in the attempt.

Cultivate your curves--they may be dangerous but they won't be avoided.

Love thy neighbor--and if he happens to be tall, debonair and devastating, it will be that much easier.

If you put your foot in it, be sure it's your best foot.

A dame that knows the ropes isn't likely to get tied up.

"Oh, Miss West, I've heard so much about you".....Yeah, honey, but you can't prove a thing.

Never ask a man where's he's been. If he's out on legitimate business, he doesn't need an alibi. And, girls, if he has been out on illegitimate business, it's your own fault.

Save a boyfriend for a rainy day--and another, in case it doesn't.

It isn't what I do, but how I do it. It isn't what I say, but how I say it, and how I look when I do it and say it.